New Pain

I must have hurt something while I was cleaning up the playroom upstairs on Friday. My lower-to-mid back was hurting until this morning when I apparently had enough ibuprofen in my system to ease the ache.

Tonight as I write this, the pain is returning a little. I guess it's time for another dose of ibuprofen before bedtime. I didn't work at the library this morning because the pain kept me up after I went to the bathroom around 2 am. I showered and napped until almost 11:00 when mom called.

We had thunder and lightening tonight but still no rain, it was such a tease! I hope we receive rain soon; we are so dry that wild fires start and have burnt down homes and parts of the George Bush park off of Westheimer Rd.

My ankle hurts again most likely from walking today. I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Skaribas for next Tuesday to help me manage my pain. Jim works for him (iMed is the doctor's IT department) and gave him a shot for his shoulder in late June and recommended that I go since my pain is spreading more to my feet and right ankle.

I am grateful for the love and guidance of the Savior during my painful trials, and have always felt His protection. I feel the love and understanding of my loving Heavenly Father who is aware of all of my trials, even the struggles with Seth's outbursts and Noah's health problems. I need to focus on reading the scriptures and praying (personal prayers) in the morning, during meals, and my nightly prayers. We need to read the scriptures with Seth and Noah as well on a daily basis, and pray each morning for them to have a positive day at school, and the strength to endure the bad days with a feeling of peace in their hearts.

I am blesseed to have Jim as a wonderful husband and father.

Parents coming, Noah's eye visit....

Last night Uncle Fred called and asked about my plan for my parents and Billy to visit/move to Houston with me. He believes it's the best plan for them as do I, and will pay for my plane ticket to Pittsburgh on November 8th so I can drive them to my house. The good thing about driving Billy's car is that they will have a car to explore on their own if they want to.

I'm worried discussing this with dad, but oh well. I want to beat the holiday travelers and the snow, while hopefully putting their house on the market.

I took Noah to the eye doctor this morning and received bad news. His right eye sways to the right, I guess from lazy eye, and the sight in his right eye has weakened. If he wears his glasses all the time and his vision/lazy eye improves, then he can avoid surgery to his eye muscle....

He has to wear an eye patch after school with his glasses on while building Leggos so his eye and hands will force him to concentrate on putting the pieces together. I hope this works, because two surgeries next summer will be dreadful.  :(

Pain

I've been in pain the last four days from overusing my shoulder. My shoulder pain flared up more while I worked at the library Tuesday morning during my shift. I work as a volunteer once a week checking books in/out and shelving the checked-in books. I like it in spite of the pain.

My legs and feet have been hurting as well, so I've had to try and balance standing and sitting and not using my arms/shoulder in repetitive motions.

I wish my pain would go away, but I realize that this is my trial while here in mortal life: dealing with family, stress, etc. while in pain instead of laying in bed.

Busy!

I've been so busy this past month between the vacation and Jim's father's funeral last week. He died on Friday, August 26th as a result of his Parkinson's progressing to his lungs. His muscles which controlled his swallowing no longer worked. Jim and I were relieved when he passed and his soul went to a better place. He and Jim's mother are together again; waiting for us to perform their temple work.

Their was family drama of course. Jim and I held Noah's baptism on Thursday, September 1st, the same day as the funeral, in the hope that both sides of our family could make it. Jim's brother Skip decided to hold a family barbeque that same night, so NO ONE  from his family came to Noah's baptism. Carol then had Tony call Jim to inform him that we were not invited to attend once the baptism was over!!

Tony was upset and wouldn't tell Jim what changed her mind, but told them to call us. Like that's going to happen!!! We don't have time to worry about that....

The baptism went really well. I sang the hymn, "Let the Holy Spirit Guide," by myself without music because I didn't have time to practice with the piano. Harry Karotosis gave a wonderful talk about the Holy Ghost before my song. I was supposed to give a talk about baptism, but didn't have time to write one, so I asked one of the elders there to give a quick talk.

Seth and Noah missed a week of school while we were away, and I'm so glad they are back in school. They NEED  the time away from each other and to learn their academics. I still hope they can do the LDS cyber school someday when they have better control over their emotions.

Well, I need to go clean now, but I hope to come back here soon.

Kids are back to school today!

It is so strange to have a quiet house! I keep waiting for Noah to open the door saying he's hungry, or Seth asking to go swimming, etc. I've been playing around with my website header and background today, and just finished changing the design with this journal blog. It's fun for me....


Allison Jenson called me today and asked me to bring Susan Ruske dinner tomorrow night because she had knee surgery on Saturday morning. I'll make more of the elbow macaroni with Jim's sauce; easy to make and easy to eat. :) 

Seth and Noah were both tired after school today and fought. They wanted me to take them to Target so they could use their gift cards for their birthday from the Rochas, but Seth was on the verge of a major meltdown and I didn't want to deal with that at the store. They  were not happy when I told them we weren't going today due to their behavior. Jim wasn't home from work yet. He stopped off at Costco to buy some groceries, and I could not wait for him to come home. 

Home

It is so nice to be home! We came home yesterday and my back hurt and I developed a migraine. I threw up about five times and needed Jim to massage my neck and back before going to sleep.

I woke up with the remains of a slight headache and have had it all day, along with my nausea, though it's better than last night. It has been a long day, and I'm ready to relax and go to bed.

Vacation Out West

We are on a fun vacation this week. On Tuesday we flew to Boise, Idaho, and then drove to Jerome and stayed with the Dickinsons for two days. Their house is beautiful and large! Jim and I watched their children while they went to the temple for their 8th wedding anniversary. It was great to see them again.

Yesterday we drove to Idaho Falls for lunch and stayed overnight in Rexburg, Idaho. We drove around, but could only find the student housing, not an actual building of learning! There was lots of construction though, so they may be changing things around. Hard to say.

Today drove south and stopped in Brigham City. We thought they were re-furbishing the temple, but they are building it brand new! Their tabernacle is beautiful! Jim and Seth played the organ (and I sang a verse of the hymn, 'The Spirit of God'). We are staying in the Comfort Inn in Orem tonight. We drove to the neighboring town Provo, Utah, where the main campus of BYU is. I love it here; I'd like to stay here during the summer and finish my bachelor degree in psychology. It depends on how well my books sell and how we're doing financially.

The mountains here in Provo are so beautiful and majestic; I'm reminded of God's love and power. I'm grateful to be a member of His church!

Saturday and Sunday Posts

Today Jim and I worked out at Lifetime. After we did the treadmill, we soaked in the whirlpool and walked around the indoor pool. I also washed all of their bedding, hoping my right shoulder doesn't hurt in the morning. Going to church at one o'clock is hard; between the boys tiring out and my body pain developing, or getting worse, Satan is able to tempt me to stay home.

I can't wait to go out west for vacation! It will be wonderful to take Seth and Noah to Temple Square, BYU-Provo-and-Rexberg, seeing the Dickinsons, and the beautiful state parks and scenery created by the Lord.

Slump

I've been in restless and bored all week because I want to go on vacation already! It seems like it's taking forever, and the boys are also very bored. This heat makes it so you can't do much outside...I'm ready to move to Idaho where Boise is a smaller city and has more land....

Noah's Ear Surgery

Noah's ear has been infected for six weeks. When the infection spread to behind his ear and the skin swelled, we took him to the Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. Dr. Lin, the new ear specialist, drained the ear and prescribed a strong intravenous antibiotic. Monday morning I noticed his skin behind the ear was swollen. I called Dr. Lin and he told us to come in Tuesday morning so he could perform the surgery and remove the infectious tissue. The surgery took 5 1/2 hours, and the middle bone in the middle ear bone structure had to be replaced due to decay.

The next morning the doctors from the disease control research team asked me a bunch of questions about his long ear infection history. It dawned on me then that Noah could have caught this bacterial infection from someone at school since families move in and out of the country with job changes. They told us there's a new bacterial infection that reeks havoc on middle ears and gave him the new immunization for it in case that's not what he has. They took a TB test, two blood tests, and lots of cultures of puss during the operation. I felt so bad for my Noah, but happy to be rid of it. For now, anyway. They released us Friday evening (the 15th), with a prescription for a 3,400 dollar antibiotic! So far our insurance has covered it; we're hoping they don't refuse the charge and try to charge us for part of it later on.

Noah's Hospital Visit

Noah's ear has been infected for two months. Last week the skin behind his left ear swelled with puss so we took him to the emergency room at Texas Children's Hospital - west campus. After viewing his CAT scan, they transferred him to the main campus at the Medical Center.

Dr. Lin, his new ear doctor, gave him a small incision and cleaned Noah's ear. He had 20cc of puss! He was released yesterday morning and sleeps off and on.

Our ward's been so helpful. My visiting teacher, Alyssa Walker, brought us dinner last night, and the new Elder's Quorum President, Brother Johnson, visited us. He's a pediatrician in the Medical Center.

Throughout this ordeal I've felt the Spirit with us. Jim hurt his back three weeks ago when he moved our old style TV to our bedroom. He had a sedated shot in his upper back that has helped a little. Though life is difficult and often stressful, I'm grateful for the opportunity to draw closer to my Father in Heaven.

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day and I called my dad in PA to wish him a happy father's day. I also gave Jim a thoughtful card, and made him eggtoast for breakfast. I am grateful for my father and the father of my children.

I also turn my thoughts to my Father in Heaven. He has created my soul and sent me here to an earthly family to be tried and tested to learn and act on my own. Sometimes I wish the trials weren't so hard, but I also remember why I'm here, and I am not alone. If I could see Him, I'd give Him a big hug and kiss. But all I can do is pray my thoughts and love to Him.

I also think of Jesus Christ, my beloved Savior. I become His child as I obey His commandments and desire to live with Him throughout all eternity! I look forward to that great day and strive to become more like them.
 

Noah's Last Tiger Cub Activity

Alex's Confirmation and Church Today

This morning we are preparing to attend Alex's confirmation at her United Methodist Church. I've already done my hair and make-up. We left the service early due to Seth having a bad headache and the singing and talking made it worse.

As expected, I watched and listened to the service with a grateful heart that I am a member of the true and living church of Jesus Christ. Their confirmation consists of the pastor, parents, and god-parents laying their hands on Alex's head while the pastor said something. I'm so grateful that Jim has the priesthood and will baptize Noah and confirm him through the power of the priesthood in our church. How blessed we are with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, to be a part of their plan of salvation! I wanted to shout, "wait, I know how to do this the Lord's way!"But I knew they would think I was crazy and ask me to leave...

We went to our church and dad came with us for Sacrament meeting. Seth complained of a headache and stomach ache, but he really doesn't like going to church. I drove dad home afterwards, and had Seth ride with me, still complaining and whining loudly. When I asked Seth if he wanted to play a game, he perked up a bit, and I knew he wanted to stay home. So I did what any good mom would do: I took him with me to church and talked to his teacher, who I don't know the name of, and she let me sit with Seth's class during the senior primary sharing time. We sung the hymn "Praise To The Man" and the class singing the lyrics and playing the song with bells. Their lesson was about Joseph Smith's life, where they looked up scriptures for the answers the teacher would ask and the class who knew the answer first shined one side of a penny to represent the last dispensation with the fullness of the gospel which Joseph Smith ushered in. I like senior primary!!

It's Been Way Too Long...

I cannot believe how long it's been since I've posted something here!! This needs to become a habit for me to reflect on all of my spiritual gifts, especially life's trials.

Jim's father arrived here on April 23, the day before Easter, from Ricks house in LA. We went to Dawn's house and had fun there with dinner from Lupe Tortia, the Easter egg hunt, and watching you-tube videos in their theater room. Such a large screen!! I was grateful to spend Easter with the Rochas, and to have dad here.

Dad's Parkinson's disease is getting worse; we have to help him get off the couch, and sometimes into/out of bed. The two of us are going to Pittsburgh next Saturday on May 21st where he will move into an assisted living facility called Cumberland Crossing. I will be there for five days, leaving on May 26th. I look forward to spending time with my parents and Billy; I haven't seen them since last August.

I'm so grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, for atoning for my sins and dying on the cross for me. I hope to remember to pray, read my scriptures, and hold family hold evening with Jim on a  regular basis.

The Gift of Illness

Sometimes getting sick can be a good thing. It forces me to rest more, which helps me think more about life. Recently I read an e-book for the first time that I received as a gift from a new author friend named Cathryn Grant. Since I was too sick too cook for my family, I was able to read the whole book in one day! Granted it took me until 1:00 in the morning, but I slept late yesterday morning. Thankfully Jim lets me sleep late on mornings he works from home and knows I'm sick or haven't slept well.

Another gift that illness brings me is reflecting on the book I read and how different my life is from all the books I read because I have the gospel. It's amazing to think of some of the ideas people have about bad events in life. One of the character's mother gets raped in this book, and her father tells her mother that it is her mother's fault for getting raped! What kind of crap is that? Don't get me wrong - I don't believe in dressing sexy - but it doesn't mean you deserve to get sexually assaulted either. Since I have the gospel, I know that dressing sexy contributes to mens' sexual appetites because of the suggestiveness of the clothes and body. I am grateful that I don't feel a need to dress in tight fitting clothes to gain needed attention of a man.

Becoming a Mother

I always wanted to be a mother, to have a child of my own. I wondered what he/she would look like, and what kind of personality they would have. I also wanted a large family, but I married later than I thought I would, and found out that my husband and I needed expensive medical methods in order to conceive a child. We were devastated at the news until my mother found an adoption ad on the back of a phone book.

I was so excited to become a mother to Seth and Noah on August 1, 2005. They were so young! Seth was 4 1/2, and Noah was almost 2. Jim and I took them into our home and adopted them on National Adoption Day - November 18, 2006. They were sealed to us on my mother's birthday - December 29, 2007.

Raising them has been tougher than I ever thought it would be. They have had both physical and emotional issues that we thought they would be too young to have. But the Lord helps me nurture them when I get frustrated with them and want to give up. I know that Heavenly Father planned on Seth and Noah becoming my sons, and love and appreciate them for who they are. I hope to raise them to love Heavenly Father, Jesus, and the gospel.

I Will Not flinch

Sherri Dew teaches wonderful concepts in her book, "No One Can Take Your Place." The first chapter discusses how we stood by our Father and His Son in the most difficult circumstance and did not flinch, and how we will stand by Him again throughout mortality.

Flinch is defined as "to shrink from" or "to tense involuntarily in fear." There are so many things in this world that make me flinch - deceptions, snares, and even distractions which are inspired by Satan to trap and derail me from my safe return home to heaven. He does this by unleashing his fury against all who are determined to "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9). I have the challenge to stand loyally by God and not flinch now as I did in the pre-mortal life.

That's not an easy task with all of life's distractions, such as the internet and my fiction writing. For guidance, I study the lives of people who managed well the same challenge. The scriptures provide me with great examples of faithful, committed men and women who did not flinch. Moses' encounter with Lucifer is a perfect example for me to follow. Lucifer tried to tempt and deceive Moses four times. He said: "Moses, son of man, worship me" (Moses 1:12). Because Moses already had a marvelous experience with God, he could easily distinguish between God and Satan, so he wasn't fooled. He responded with: "Get thee hence, Satan; deceive me not. I will not cease to call upon God." (Moses, 1:16, 18).

I am often able to tell when the Lord is speaking and when Satan is. The Lord prompts me to do good, while Satan tempts me to avoid doing good, since he has a hard time getting me to perform a horrible act. So far, I haven't beaten or murdered anyone, so he must be frustrated with me. But I need to read the scriptures more and pray more so I will not be distracted or deceived without even realizing it.

Blessings

When I was baptized at the age of nine, I was immersed in water, and then received the gift of the Holy Ghost. I have always known that if I am faithful, I can have His influence guide me on a daily basis. I did not know what that meant when I was nine, but I understand how the promptings of the Holy Spirit can keep me close to my Savior.

Through Him, I am blessed with certain spiritual powers called gifts of the Spirit. "All these gifts come from God, for the benefit of the Children of God" (D&C 46:26). One of these gifts include the knowledge and truths of the gospel, so that I can bless others.

I am grateful for the gift of understanding people and how the principles of the gospel can apply to my life every day. When new trials come, I can pray and read the scriptures. I love to read: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering" (D&C 46:17).

One of my favorite teachings is when the Lord revealed, "If a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through is diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much more the advantage in the world to come" (D&C 130:19). The Lord has commanded me in my Patriarchal blessing to 'learn of Him,' as much as I can about His work. This is one of my goals this year through this blog; reflections of where I have been and where I need to go, so that I may receive knowledge from the Holy Ghost. I need His Spirit to speak to my mind and heart.  

When I am out in the country at night, I look up at the sky and see the millions of stars and sometimes one or two of the planets, I know that there is a God. Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet, wrote, "All things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motions, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator" (Alma 30:44).

In the "Gospel Principles" book that is published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I learn about God. We have a women's Sunday class called Relief Society, where we read a lesson from this book. I have learned that the mountains, sea, sky, and beautiful plants testify that there is a God.

Since He is the father of my spirit, I call him Heavenly Father. Before I came to earth, I lived with Him and all of you. When He gave me the choice to come down here in a mortal body to learn, grow, and be tested through many trials that make up my earthly life, even though I do not remember it, I gladly accepted the offer and was born to my earthly mother. And I have learned so much already, but still have a lot more to learn about life.